Why Am I So Unhappy?

By Karla Aguas - 8:15:00 PM

Such a simple question. If only its answer wasn't so complicated.


We've all been unhappy. We've all been sad. We've all been hurt, bitter, angry, disappointed and annoyed at life and at our situations. Has it ever been so bad that you asked yourself: "Why me?"

I have.

At one point in my life (and I'm not going to say this little voice doesn't try and creep up every once in a while) I was upset and unhappy about everything. My career opportunities, my relationships/friendships, my clothes- just, everything. I used this moment as a point of reflection and I truly thought about why I was feeling so unhappy- why I felt life and God were unfair to me, and why I was being ignored by His Grace.

Mean people, rude people, absolutely horrible-to-the-core people, get blessed every single day. I saw people that wronged me and those I love get blessing after blessing and I asked myself- why? Why are they being blessed when they don't deserve it? Why are they being praised and adored by people when in reality, they're pretty mean and awful? Then I thought about it- it's not really about them- it's about me. It's about how I see things.

Why not me?

I wrote down a couple of points that I felt were born out of my reflection on this question. And little by little, I have been molding my life towards a better me. A happier me. I may still be in the process of moving forward, but I'm learning every single day. I still get hurt, I still get offended, but at the end of the day, I'm choosing to be happy. I choose to live a happy life- struggles, problems and challenges aside.

Hopefully these little tips/points help you try to live a happier life yourself. I'm not saying I know everything and that these are sure ways of not letting hate and mean people get to you- but it's a start. And it's something I live by. :)

Don't Compare

Photo from Stacy Blackman Consulting
Ahhhh!!! How many times have you heard this line huh? How many times have you read it in those self-help articles and books. It's funny that this line is repeated over and over again and yet people still can't seem to get the message. I know I'm one of those people.

It's so much easier to compare yourself to others. Especially when it comes to those who are more successful than you. Trust me, I've been there. And I still have those days. Sometimes I find myself checking Facebook and seeing batchmates who are traveling the world, setting up businesses, getting promoted, living their life to the fullest and I sit there, happy for them, but at the same time sad, because I'm comparing myself and how much "lamer" my life is. But let me ask you this:

When you compare yourself to others, does it make you happier?

My answer is no. No it does not. At all. It makes me sad, bitter, jealous and sometimes angry. I get pissed off at my situation and think "Why do I even bother anymore?" but you know what? Just being happy for someone else, would do you a lot more good than being jealous.

The thing I constantly say to myself whenever I start comparing my journey to that of someone else's is simply: We will all have our own time of success. You have to remember that everyone's journey is different. We're all faced with different decisions, opportunities, skills, strengths and weaknesses, which help us move forward in life. And it's because we're so different that our lives are never the same. I mean if they were, life wouldn't be as exciting right?

So stop comparing. I know it's easier said than done but try. I know I do- I try every day. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others, is the moment you can start fully focusing on what lies ahead for you. And when you do that, then you can start working towards your goals and getting better.

Don't Doubt God's Goodness


But they don't even deserve it!!! 

I know, I know. It sucks when people who aren't really "nice" get so many blessings right? They're plastic, but everyone loves them. They're mean, but they're super successful. They lie, cheat and steal and yet they're doing so much better than you. Why, God? Why do You let that happen?

Here's why: He loves everyone. 

Ouch. What a tough pill to swallow. But that's just it. God loves everyone on this Earth. Even those who've wronged you. Who've hurt you. Who've made you feel small and awful and insignificant. He loves them too. Just as much as He loves you. Which is why you can't doubt His goodness. Don't do it.

God has big plans for you and for me. He really does. Jeremiah 29:11 states this clear as day.

"For I know well the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

It doesn't get any more straightforward than that! It's His promise to all those who believe in Him. So instead of doubting His goodness, embrace His promise. He promises to give you hope and a future. God gave us His only Son to die in order to save us. All of us. Even those that have wronged you. What more won't He give you?

I think the key here is again rooted in the first tip- don't compare. Because as "fun" (lol joke totally not fun) as it is to compare yourself to those who "don't deserve" their blessings, it's more fun to wait and see what God has in store for you. I know it seems like it's never gonna happen, or that you're waiting for something that's never coming your way but rest assured that God is moving. He works behind the scenes remember? I'm right there with you. I've been waiting for opportunities and new ventures to come my way and so far, nothing. Nothing is happening. But you know what? I'm trying my best to face everyday anew, with a deeper understanding that it's not in MY time, but in God's time.

And boy is His timing perfect. 

Count Your Blessings


Whenever I can't seem to shake off the "lack" in my life, I write down everything I'm grateful for.

No, really. Give it a shot as well. I get a pen and paper, and I write every little thing down.

1. I got parking in Ortigas today
2. Traffic wasn't so bad
3. Gas prices went down
4. I ate a good lunch
5. I played with my dog
6. I got to shower
7. I get to sleep in my own bed
8. I have a house to come home to
9. I have a family that loves me
10. I got to watch Netflix today
11. I have a stable job that pays me
12. I have Internet
13. I had a good cup of tea/coffee today
14. I got to finish all my work tasks on time!

Before you know it, you'll have a long list of things to be happy about and grateful for. This is just a sample list but I've had lists in the past that have been so long I needed to staple the papers! And you know what? Some days the list won't be as long. But there will still be things on the list that are nothing short of being a blessing. Remember that waking up in the morning is already your first miracle. How many people don't get to see the next day? Aren't you grateful that you live in a place that isn't war stricken? That you're not fleeing from your home like all the refugees are around the world? That you have a house? A car? A family? A job? School? Friends? A cellphone? Running water?!

These are things we tend to take for granted because we have them everyday. But if we can learn to appreciate them more and count them as blessings, then we will want for less, and be content with what we have. Give the list making a shot. It's a lot of fun too!

Take it one day at a time


When all else fails, BREATHE! Remember that if you're having a crappy day it's only going to last for 24 hours! Again, the Bible states it pretty clear in Matthew 6:34:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

See? Clear as day! A metaphor I'll never forget was one I learned back in school. It was: "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." Brilliant isn't it?

Try to focus on the day ahead and what it offers. If you're having a bad day, don't try and drag it to the next day. Leave it behind. 24 hours isn't as long as you think it is. It may seem terribly long, but it's really not. And everyone has their bad days. But a bad day doesn't equal a bad life.

Overwhelming yourself with millions of "things to do" and "things to fix" and "things to plan" will not only exhaust you, but will discourage you from getting anything done. So take it all in, and take it one step at a time. Even if you love multitasking (like I do) sometimes it's good to just finish one task before moving on to the next one.

Set Goals


Funny how this can seem like it's contradicting the previous tip but setting goals for the day will help give more structure to your tasks and how you go about your life. I love setting goals because I love the feeling of getting to accomplish everything for that day. I'm talking realistic goals as well okay? Not the life goals/bucketlist stuff that we all have (and that you should definitely at one point in your life) I'm talking about the simple, mundane tasks for the day.

Do the groceries. Pay your bills. Finish your report. Attend a meeting. Load gas.

There's no better feeling than writing these things down and then at the end of the day seeing all of them checked and accomplished. You'll feel extra productive and extra happy about your day. Trust me on this. I do it every day and I love looking back at my entire week and seeing everything I got to do. It's nice to be able to see that you really did make the most out of your day/week.

Remember guys, life is tough and it's crazy and it's filled with tons of challenges and blessings. But that doesn't mean we can't handle it. God put you on this Earth for a reason. He allowed these things to happen to you because He knew you could handle them. You would become stronger and better after it. Everyone struggles. Even the most successful person you can think of struggles. We all have our own issues and problems and that's how it works. Nobody's life is perfect. Hopefully these tips are useful or can help you in even the smallest way. It's so much easier to be happy guys, we just need to choose to be happy.

YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN BE HAPPY.


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5 comments

  1. Thank you, ate Karla. I could relate and at the same time learn and reflect. Thank you. ��

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    1. You are most welcome! Thank you for reading <3

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  2. This is a wonderful reminder! You indeed inspire me in so many ways, KARLA!
    Keep it up:)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading my entry! I hope you enjoyed it. :)