How To Be A Hater 101
9:48:00 PMHow to be a Hater?!
A Hater Tutorial?!
Haters for Dummies?!
Yes, I know that this blog is dedicated to all things awesome and wonderful, and being a HATER is definitely NOT awesome or cool but I thought it appropriate to devote an entry on how to become one.
Why you ask? It's very simple.
So many people nowadays would rather harden their hearts and devote all their time into hating someone they barely even know. I don't about you but I'm feeling 22 I think that's got to be one of the saddest things anyone can do. So here I am, just making an annoying situation into a humorous one. Hope you enjoy this.
And to the haters out there, thanks for inspiring me to write this entry! :)
How to be a Hater 101
1. Create a life devoted to someone you don't even know
Since you don't have a life, create one focused on a person that you want to hate. This person usually possesses qualities you wish you had (e.g. breeding, money, good looks, a job you want, a person you want, etc.) Let us label this now hated person as "HP" (sorry Harry Potter, time for you to step aside for a bit)
Find out everything you can about the HP and make sure to confirm the accuracy. Know their birthday, favorite color, favorite hang out spot and even their circle of friends. You will need this information in order to create the many different insults you will prepare to throw at them.
Tip: Find out all their mistakes- these are the points you want to focus on since you are perfect and they are not. Focus on their PAST no matter what. Never, ever, EVER let it go. Never. The past is never gone. It is your job to make sure of that.
2. Find every ounce of bitterness that you have in you, and channel it towards the HP
Now that you have all the information you need, stock up on your Hater Energy Levels. These levels consist of all the bitterness and hatred you have in you because you don't have the life of the person you hate. This is crucial for all the things you plan on doing next. Here is how to stock up and charge your Hater Energy:
- Look through ALL of the pictures of the HP and make sure to pick out all the BAD looking ones (If they have any. It's even more annoying when the HP can't seem to take a bad picture). You may create a folder for these pictures so you have a personal Archive for Memes or whatever else you have planned. You may name the folder whatever you wish.
- Look at what you lack in your "life" and let the disappoint and bitterness fuel you to scrutinize every part of the HP's life. Stock up the feelings of jealous and bitternesss
3. Make troll accounts
You now have all the information you need. Now is the time to put those Social Media Websites to good use. The best sites to use are Twitter and Instagram. If you're really set on making your hatred felt, create a Facebook Fan Page and Group as well. This may come in handy if your hatred is significant.
Make sure to make at least 5 troll accounts on Twitter and Instagram and FOLLOW the HP. You may use the bad angle pictures you have saved as your Profile picture and Header (this is to just further prove your authenticity as a Hater).
Tip: Play around with the person's name in order to make Account names for your Troll Accounts. If you hate someone named "Amy" then think of unique and playful ways around their name. Some examples may be: "AmyLoser, UglyAmy, AmySux4Layf"and so on.
The possibilities are endless. Use some of your Hater Energy in order to think of "witty" troll account names and creative profile pictures. It's okay if no one follows you. Just make sure to Tweet.
4. Reach the Tweet Limit
This needs no explanation. Just do it. Say the insult as many times as you can. You need to let it out. :)
5. Stay updated with the HP's life at all times. Parang iOS software update lang yan!
Whether it be a raise, a new job, a sweet gift from their bf/gf, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THESE THINGS. It is your job to be as informed as you can so do your research.
Tip: It helps to continue to stalk their accounts. Follow them religiously and always check for their updates. You can use whatever means necessary to stay updated.
6. Spread as many false accusations a.k.a. lies about the person as you can
Now comes the tricky part, getting people to believe you. Remember, not everything you've dug up about the HP is usable for your hating. Sometimes the person is just genuinely good or well liked, this is why you hate them. They are lovable and you are not. But that doesn't mean you can't invent a few things to help fuel your hate.
Look back on the HP's past. Look at their mistakes. Now that you have some in line, time to get creative. INTENSIFY it. Here are some examples to get you going:
- Fact: HP failed ONE quiz in a class - You can say: HP failed the whole CLASS
- Fact: Girl HP plays basketball/any sport - You can say: Girl HP is a LESBIAN
- Fact: Boy HP wore pink today - You can say: Boy HP is gay
Again, the possibilities are endless. Just make sure to focus on shallow things/things that shouldn't even be an issue like sexual orientation and grades. Remember, their business is YOUR business because THEY ARE YOUR LIFE. They are the reason why you exist. :)
7. Know absolutely nothing, but have the most to say
This is the number one reason why you are a successful Hater. You know the least but have the most to say. Always remember that. That is your motto in life.
- The HP has an issue at home? You know all about it! Long lost sister/brother ka pala!
- The HP has problems in school? You know all about it! Kahit hindi ka from the same school!
- The HP has weird hair? You know all about it! Hairdresser ka eh!
Remember, YOU KNOW NOTHING. But that doesn't mean you CAN'T SAY EVERYTHING. Say it. All of it. Everything that you can manage to say about the person SAY IT! Now is your time to shine! And don't forget, you can always refer to the lies you've made for the HP.
8. Find more sad and bitter people and start a group!
Misery loves company and nothing would make you happier than building your circle of Hater Friends. Now is the time to create a bandwagon.
Remember, YOU ARE NOT the only one without a life in this world. There are millions of people just waiting to release their inner Hater. Find them. Befriend them. You all belong together anyway. :)
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And there you have it! Follow these simple steps and you are on your way to becoming the best hater you can be! Your Mommy and Daddy will be proud at all that you have accomplished: NOTHING. :)
At the end of the day remember that the only thing you are trying to do is PULL THE HP DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL. I know this is impossible because the HP IS BETTER THAN YOU but you have to try. Don't waste your life away by doing things like studying well, helping your family, building a relationship with God and making friends, no. Ain't nobody got time for that!
So enjoy. And may you hate and hate till you can't hate no more! :)
P.S.
Thank you to all the Haters out there that inspired this entry. God knows how much I love you all. :)
66 comments
This is funny! THE FUNNIEST EVER! I love you Ate Karla Forever. HATERS HATE! FAMOUS NAKO PAG MAY NAG HATE SAKIN. Emergerd. Yo the best momma karls! >:DDDD< hug kita for that. - Colleen
ReplyDeleteThank you Colleen! One of my babies! Hehe :) Smile lang always, Haters are awesome!!!! :))
Delete"Haters are awesome" dammnnnn love it soooo much... can i borrow this line for all my haters out there?? LOL. take good care Karla. Stay pretty. :)
Deletenice ate karla! galing ng pag-kakablog :D -blue
ReplyDeleteThank you, Blue! I love your name! It's soooo cute!!! :)
DeleteHahaha. This made me love you more Ms. Karla. You always handle situations with class. Yan ang may breeding. Stay pretty! - Nana
ReplyDeleteThank you Nana! Thank you for seeing that. We should always laugh at situations instead of crying over them. Keeps us young and good looking! ;) Hahaha
DeleteHAHAHA. So this is what I find in my Twitter feed. Guess I should Twitter more often. Haters gonna hate so shine bright like a jam-ond! If you don't know who I am, I'll definitely troll you Thursday morning. :)
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU THE BEST COFFEE SHAKE MAKER EVER! You should join the Twitter fun and hate on people (nah, you too educated and CLAZZY fo dat!) See you on Thursday. Keep safe and dry!!! :)
DeleteHahahaha! Haters make you famous, more famous!
ReplyDeleteBut i love you, ill always support you and even defend you..
Ate Karla, dont let them bring you down!
Thank you for updating ur blog. Been waiting for this once a month!
Hahaha! Studybuddy pa nga kita, you inspired me to study kasi ill go to manila if pasado lahat subjects ko kasi i wanna meet you and kuya nico.best couple ever! Stay strong..
Ill be posting more pictures on IG and TWITTER to show you my support.
Sharmainelqz
Sharmaine_lqz
P.S dont change, stay humble and kind. Pretty and hilarious! Ikaw na!
Thanks for inspiring me, and replies makes my heart skip a beat!
Thanks Sharmaine! Your posts and tweets always make me smile :)
DeleteWow. Very nice. You actually inspired me to be a better person and stop hating other people. Frm now on i'll focus my energy on other things instead of hating people who probably didnt know i exist :) great entry Karla :)
ReplyDeleteFocus your energy on your life, family and friends! That's the best thing to do :) I'm glad this entry helped hehe :p
DeleteSome may not like us, but that doesnt mean we dont have family friends and supporters who arent there for you. Instead of wasting so much time on those who dont matter start paying attention only to the people who actually do. Please keep on spreading positive vibes because you coudnt be any happier and now lets bow our heads and pray for all the haters out there! Just do the best! Keep calm and be positive KARLS!! -jane
ReplyDeleteThat's so smart of you to say, Jane! Very well said. Glad you were able to share your insight with us. Thank you! :)
DeleteHahaha this one is my favourite blog you've wrote. I'm laughing hard because once in my life I've become a hater (proud-hater) but I dint end up doing such things Thank You for this Blog I realized I was just a hater before but not that Desperate to pull people down. Love you karls. Super duper duper tight hug (Please HUG me back?) Hahahaha -Love, KrishBasas
ReplyDeleteHug hug hug! Hehe glad to know this made you really laugh. I know I was laughing so hard when I wrote it, I couldn't stop laughing actually. Just wanna show people that you can always look on the funny side of a bad situation. Always. :)
Deleteyou are the best! you made me laugh so hard with this entry :) i'm so inspired with this!! SAVED!! :) hahaha i love haters na tuloy!! love yah ate karls -syd <3
ReplyDeleteThanks Syd! Laugh Lang always! Hihi :)
DeleteHaha! The person before this post is just a perfect example of what you just wrote Karla :)) haha! It's just funny how people waste their time on hating when they can just move on and focus on their lives. Sayang naman eh, you only live once right? :)) better to be happy with you own life rather than wake up everyday and make sure that your goal is to hate on someone. What a sad life for them. :)) well i'm glad to see another post from your blog. Maybe next time more about you nalang instead of them haters! :)) mas interesting pa diba! :) God bless you Karla! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's so true, Monique! I don't know why people focus on the bad and refuse to acknowledge the good. No matter what, we are all different and handle things differently. I just really wish more people respected that fact. God Bless! :)
DeleteWow. Just cant believe someone above would post like that. And he/she's anonymous. Wow life. =))) Anyway, i really love your humor ate karla. Super benta. Well, life isn't perfect and no matter how hard we try to be kind to others, there will be these people who'll continue to bash us but despite of that, i believe that it doesnt permit us to stop being good. Basta let's show them goodness lang. :) Random lang, i visited your karlskaleidoscope blog :( kakamiss naman. I viewed your past posts and i remembered how i started to like you. Your very famous after-uaap-game-kiss-with-nico haha :) Love itttt :) Continue being humble, pretty and classy <3 x
ReplyDeleteHaha talk about a throwback moment eh noh? Wow that was so long ago na. It's okay, you're right. Sow goodness and humor instead of bitterness and hate. Life is very simple. We just choose to make it complicated. :) Thank you for reading this Romelyn! :)
DeleteHahaha! This blog of yours made me smile! :) FUNNIEST Ever! I love you Ate Karla! Take Care. God Bless You always. :* -Christy
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found it funny! How wonderful that it put a smile on your face. God Bless! :)
DeleteI love the sarcasm in this blog :) i love the way this blog was written. :) haters will always have negative things to say they suck! They need a life. God Bless you more :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Cy! I just wanted to make an annoying situation a light one and in no time this entry came to be Haha! :))
DeleteYou are one smart & witty girl, Karla. I sincerely admire you and your spirit! I know that with that kind of attitude u have, you will reach the highest mountains and the farthest stars. Who cares about those haters? Just remember that thousands of people love you! You truly deserve everything u have and I just want u to know that even before u became a VJ, I already read ur blogs, follow you on IG and on twitter :) I've adored u from the very beginning, not just because of your current showbiz career but because of who you are period. Stay funny and amazing Karla! Keep inspiring me and everyone around you. Love love love <3 - Caren
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Caren! It means a lot to know that there are still good people out there. I honestly am fine having haters, not everyone is going to like you and the sooner you accept that the easier it will be to move on and be happy. Thank you again for reading this blog! :)
DeleteGrabe. I love the sarcasm mixed with humor. hahaha. Don't worry Karla, those haters cannot match you. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Krystyna! No they can't match us cause we have what they don't- BREEDING. Take care! :)
DeleteYou came up with this blog because you are a hater yourself. It takes one to know one. Di ba you tweet din hate tweets then delete it?I feel pity for you. Wag ka kasing trying hard. Ginagawa mo sa Myx puros kaartehan. Look at Ai and the rest simply lang.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the criticism, I'll take that into consideration about me being a VJ. Now as for your pity, please, keep it, I really don't need anyone's pity. Now as for my "hate tweets" we'll, I'm not targeting anyone so if you're affected by it, sorry nalang, guilty ka pala Haha :) God Bless and I hope He grants you a sense of humor to appreciate this entry :)
Deletefunny mo. ikaw nga ang laging affected di ba? tsk carla.
DeleteKarla not Carla. :P
DeleteSARCASM AT ITS BEST! LOVE IT KARLS!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to know there are still people out there with SMART humor Hehe :) I'm happy you enjoyed this entry!
DeleteHi Ate Karla! I just want to say, don't mind your haters. They just want your attention, so don't get affected with what others say about you! I really think you're a good person because I know your blog reflects the inner you.. you're nice, funny and parang walang arte. Stay humble and continue to inspire others! Virtual hug for you, ate! (feeling close hehe) >>>>:D<<<<
ReplyDeleteThank you, sweetheart, I wish I knew your name. I am not affected, I simply chose to make a sad and negative situation into a funny one. Sorry nalang if may affected HAHAHA :)) Thank you for your kind words!!! :) xx
DeleteYou write very well ;) Malaysia part 2 na please! hehe :)
ReplyDeleteThat's definitely in the works!!! LEGOLAND AND HELLO KITTY LAND!!! Hehe :P
DeleteREVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. Nice article! Nice attitude! Make me love you more!
ReplyDeleteGRACIAS!!!! :)
DeleteBeautiful article, just like you :-) Stay happy in your relationship with kuya Nico! Hopefully your relationship goes straight to the altar :-) 100% support!
ReplyDeleteAww thank you! Glad you enjoyed the entry :)
DeleteIm so proud to let you know that im your 8th official reader ✌ imotiv!
ReplyDeleteThank you darling! :)
Deletegaling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) godbless Karl........... spread good vibes
ReplyDeleteGOOD VIBES ALL AROUNDDD :):):)
DeleteThis is one hell of a perfect Blog I have ever red!!!!!! Sounds silly but its nice! Na face palm tuloy mga Haters! Galing galing mo Karla! The best ka and the best tong Entry na to! Grabe =) God Bless you!
ReplyDeleteMEGA FACE PALM SANA :)) Thank you so much I'm glad you liked it! It definitely made ME laugh while writing it! :)
DeleteKarla what brand yung pants you wore nung naka sneaker wedges ka pati yung tinerno mo dun sa cropped top na french bulldog?
ReplyDeleteTopshop! I love Topshop's MOTO denim! :)
DeleteYou're too cool and too nice to be hated. I don't get it why some people hate you. seriously. Anyway. keep on writing karla :) keep on inspiring people :) love youuu karla dear :) God Bless !:)
ReplyDeleteAwww thank you, Ann! That is very kind of you to say. It doesn't matter, we will all rub certain people the wrong way throughout our lives. We just have to learn to move forward. Thank you for reading and commenting, I'm glad this entry was entertaining for you! :)
DeleteYou're so funny Ms. Karla! Now i know how to handle those creepy little haters of me out there. Thankyou for this post this is beyond awesome! It made my day!! By the way i really love your haircolor! What color is it? And where did you have it colored? Please please please! I want it bad!:( i hope you reply soon. This is the first time I actually talked to you:) i hope you respond! I'll be the happiest kid ever!:)
ReplyDeleteAwww I'm glad this entry helped. Don't let them rain on your parade of awesomeness. God has His reasons and this is the time for you to grow and become stronger. A better YOU. :) It's copper blonde and yes it's colored Haha :))
Deletenice one ate Karla! love it :)
ReplyDelete-Alleia
Thank you, Alleia! Glad you enjoyed this entry :)
DeleteHehe. I can't understand the stalkers. Sayang oras, we're all on borrowed time.
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!!
Deletecoolkids cant die. posted a picture of you on IG!I HOPE YOU COULD READ THE CAPTION :)
ReplyDeletei love you ate karla? will always be here to support u po :)
id love to make you smile always coz you made me smile lalo na pag with kuya nics, i hope youll be fine :) more LOVE AND WUFFYEWW! #AGUASLOVE
Nice entry Ms. Aguas. I'm guilty of being a hater to a certain person [blossomed due to this person's (HP) rejection and my boredom *not having a life] and I've done some of these things as a hater. Made me realize that haters are created due to jealousy, rejection, insecurity, and wanting to equalize things with the hated person.
ReplyDeletee isa ka ding hater e! HATER NG BAGONG MISS WORLD! :P :P :P
ReplyDeleteI doubt if you have haters. Do even people know you that much? Maybe they judge your on your looks. :D
ReplyDeleteOMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KARLA!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my entry! I hope you enjoyed it. :)