Blessings Amidst the Pain

By Karla Aguas - 11:49:00 AM

Just had to make this short entry because I really don't understand why some things happen the way that they do and by people that you never thought in a million years would do it. I guess it just all comes down to the hard hitting truth that we're all human and really, you never know what people are truly capable of. I'm not going to share what exactly it is I'm going through because as much as I love making kwento and posting on this blog, I really feel some things are better kept private. I would, however, like to share a few things I got this morning.

First, my mom called me at work. She spoke to me for over 40 minutes letting me know how much she loves me and that no matter what happens in life I will always be her baby and she will always be my mommy. Umiyak ako ng todo can I just share. My mom and I don't have the perfect relationship and for a very long time we weren't in speaking terms. I've been a very bad kid at times and very hard to deal with. She's a person too and sometimes her emotions and feelings get the better of her as well. Regardless of what has happened in the past, however, we have both promised that moving forward the past will remain in the past. I'm happy to say that through all of this gulo and sadness (that just started up last night) she is letting me know that she will be with me all throughout and we will go through it together since we are hurting, together. I am already so blessed to have her and I honestly don't even deserve her.

It really helps when God is a big part of your life. I'm not saying I'm a saint or a perfect person- I have my flaws and faults and I'm trying to move forward and be better. With this being said, I think it's also important to have God play a BIG part in your relationship. I love my Bubba very much and he really tries his best to be better for our relationship. I do the same. He knows what I'm going through and shares in my pain. I've never met or been with someone who loves me as much as he does and I thank God for him every single day. Just this morning, amidst all the hurt and tears, my Bubba sent me a text message that really moved me and made me cry even more (NOT because it made me sad though okay Haha..) here's what it said:

Psalm 13:1-5

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him,' and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation."
And then he added this prayer:
"Lord please give us Your grace to trust in Your unfailing love when we get discouraged because some problems take so long to get resolved. Please remind us that even when it seems like You are ignoring us, You always have our best interest at heart."
I was beyond moved. Moved to tears at the text. God really does work in such mysterious ways and through the RIGHT people. I am so blessed and lucky to have my Bubba in my life- a man who is constantly changing for the better, growing more in love, in Faith and in God.

After this moving text, I got another text from my older sister Trina. Growing up she and I never really got close. I am happy, however, that these past few years have been good for our relationship and though we fight at times and I "hate" her, I now really do look up to her for a lot of things. She is a wonderful older sister, flaws and all. She is also the reason why I started attending Bible study. I join her and her ALP group every Monday for Bible Study and since then I have made a vow to better myself and fix my relationship with God. Here's what she sent me:

"I have promised to meet all your needs according to My glorious riches. Your deepest, most constant need is for My Peace. I have planted Peace in the garden of your heart, where I live; but there are weeds growing there too: pride, worry, selfishness, unbelief. I am the Gardener, and I am working to rid your heart of those weeds. I do My work in various ways. When you sit quietly with Me, I shine the Light of My Presence directly into your heart. In this heavenly Light, Peace grows abundantly and weeds shrivel up. I also send trials into your life. When you trust Me in the midst of trouble, Peace flourishes and weeds die away. Thank Me for troublesome situations; the Peace then can produce far outweighs the trials you endure."

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:19

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." - 2 Corinthians 4:17

You know, regardless of what it is that you are going through, as long as you have Faith in the Lord and His marvelous deeds and power, you will never fall. I think that these things happen to us to test our Faith and strength of character. These are challenges that we need in order to shed away some more weeds and continue to grow in becoming the best versions of ourselves. My life is not perfect. I do not do good deeds everyday. I am no saint and I have many sins. But I am blessed. Blessed to have these people in my life.

So thank you, Mom, Nics and Trin- you three have really helped make my day so much better. You are my angels.

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14 comments

  1. Aww... This made me cry Karla!!! :'( I'm currently in almost the same situation... Not really in a good place! Well, I've already shared to you I'm in Oz but my whole family is there in the Philippines... I don't want to go into details why my life is just plain miserable but similar to you, I'm going through something bad. I try my best not to cry every night before going to sleep because it is really hard when you're far away from your own family and the people whom you thought you can lean on to because they are "family" as well are not the people who you thought they would be. I'm living with some "family" members but I never felt so alone! I keep thinking to myself that things will be better soon and that God will always be there but sometimes you just want someone to be there with you... People you know who love you inspite and despite your flaws! I know that my family are there for me but I can't let them see how much pain I am in coz I know they'll worry evenmore... I need to be strong for my family but my heart is also broken into pieces. I honestly don't know what to do! Now I know how it feels to be an OFW... I need to keep moving forward to reach my goal and fulfill my dreams! No guts, no glory! :)

    Sorry Karla, if I'm sharing too much information... I just need to let it all out! Stay strong! Everything will be alright! :) --- G <3

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    1. Hi G! No need for apologies, I'm touched that in a way you feel like you can share your story with me and all those who read this blog. I can only imagine the amount of pain and loneliness that you feel, and I truly wish that it could be lessened. I guess sometimes we just really have to go through really hard times in order to appreciate life and things more- and to learn how to grow in our Faith and become stronger. I applaud you for your strength to go on and not cry every night. For being responsible enough to know your priorities and not let your emotions get the better of you. Very few can do that. May God continue to Bless you!!! :)

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    2. Hi Karla! :) I guess at some point I need to let it out... If I keep it all bottled up, I might think of something crazy and bad... Anyway, I have come to conclusion that I should take the risk and give it my best shot. If it doesn't work then I'll take it as a sign that it's not for me. I'm still hoping for the best since I want to fulfill my dreams. It's hard but then again, God will not let me be in this situation if He knows I can't handle it. Right? Same with you... Everything will be okay! He is always there watching over us! Btw, thank you for letting me share! It helped me a lot! God bless you and your family, Karla! :) --- G <3

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  2. Jeremiah 29:11 said, for i know the plans i have for you, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. this is my fave verse. whenever i feel like giving up i always try to remember this one. and also God has said, "never will i leave you, nor forsake you! -Deuteronomy 31:6

    have a nice day ate Karla. i hope i am able to help you atleast. :)
    -KarenAnne-

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    1. Hi Karen Anne! YES!! Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite verses of ALL TIME. It brings me so much comfort when I feel like I can no longer go on, or when I feel like nothing but bad is plaguing my life. THANK YOU SO MUCH for the second verse I will remember that one as well. Such a blessing to read on this morning when I'm feeling extra down. Thank you so much you have really helped me today! May God Bless you :)

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  3. "You know, regardless of what it is that you are going through, as long as you have Faith in the Lord and His marvelous deeds and power, you will never fall" I totally agree with this :)

    There were many times I thought I wouldn't be able to get up anymore because of my failures. But God taught me that I'm not alone, in fact, there are many people out there who believes in me, inspite and despite of my insecurities and my flaws.

    I'm not perfect myself and I have 'bad' attitudes, but it gradually changed when I joined Bible studies and attend the church every Sunday. It feels really good to be with God and to be able to just praise Him.

    I actually thought I'll fail my major subjects this semester, I knew in my heart that I didn't get those high grades I was aiming for. But I prayed and trust only in the power of God to do things, only His will. And so I was surprised that I passed all my subjects and was also blessed to be part of the Dean's list again. God really works in wonderful ways we could never imagine.


    To God Be All the Glory!

    I hope this is not too much, I'm just too happy I had to share this with you Ate Karla. :)

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    1. Hi Jean! How wonderful that you have learned that God is with you always! I am so happy for you that you keep in your heart His promise of always being by your side and never abandoning you. You see, no matter what our past has, it is and forever will be, in the past. What's more important is we move forward towards a better life and I'm glad that you took it upon yourself to go to Bible study and attend Church. That's amazing! Congratulations on not failing! You see, as long as you put in the work that is required of you, God will handle the rest. He will never leave us empty-handed and I'm soooo happy for you! I know what it's like to pass a subject/s that you thought you'd fail. Such a relief! yay for you! :)

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  4. Whenever I have problems, I keep them to myself. There even came a time when I started to grow apart from Him and my family. But now that I'm matured enough to understand that I cannot solve these problems on my own, I began to seek for Him again. He never fails to protect me. He even bought my family closer together. And now, I am proud that I accepted Him in my heart. Whatever it is that burdens you just remember that He is there for you, never fades, never falters. Keep your spirits up, Karla. There really are blessings amidst all the pain and someday you will realize that it will make you a better person. God Bless. We all love you. :)

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    1. Hi Krystyna! I know all too well what it's like to keep problems to yourself. I'm guilty of that trait as well and I find that in the end it just weighs me down so much more and makes me feel worse about myself. It really is good to be able to open up to someone whom you can trust and TRULY CARES (you have to remember, some are merely CURIOUS). AMEN! Now that God has a place in your heart He can finally work His magic. You see, it's always hard to be able to humble yourself down so that God may enter your life but once He does He's there for good and forever will you be blessed! Just continue to have Faith and pray! You are already growing more into the person God has planned for you to become! :) Aww thank you so much, I love you too!!!! xx

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  5. hi karla, im so touched with this entry. Just keep in mind that there's no such thing as BIG problem, only BIG GOD! No one can reach the Easter Sunday without experiencing Good Friday. Problems were given to us to remind us that we can't do it alone, we need HIM. All we have to do is to SURRENDER everything. :) Keep the faith. God bless you.

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    1. Hi GC! I totally agree with you! Very good insight, thank you for sharing it! Yes, only a BIG GOD who loves us unconditionally! :)

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  6. ate Karla, what a lovely message this post has! I agree with everything you said :) hehe got me teary-eyed :') you are certainly one of the women I look up to. I super admire your blogs for through these, you are able to touch other people's lives. Keep inspiring every people by God's grace :) take care always!

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    1. Hi Jan! Aww thank you, I'm very happy that you enjoyed this entry and got it's message. Wow! Haba ng hair! Hihi but thank you. I'm so happy and I can't believe that more and more people are reading this blog and finding both comfort and entertainment through it. It's a great feeling as a blogger to be able to know that people enjoy what you write about :)

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  7. Hi Ate Karla! I was looking through your blog and I found this. This entry is absolutely beautiful.

    "You know, regardless of what it is that you are going through, as long as you have Faith in the Lord and His marvelous deeds and power, you will never fall."

    The past school year has really been a rough one for me, entering college and all, and I've had big failures that I'm still on the process of accepting. When I read your entry, this line really touched me. Thank you. I believe it is the simple message and reminder I needed. :)

    More power to you and your awesome blog, and God bless! :D

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Thanks for reading my entry! I hope you enjoyed it. :)