A Love Letter
10:03:00 PM
Hello. Hi. Hey there?
Gosh, you’d think that for how long we’ve known each other,
for how long I’ve known You, I could come up with a better opening line… I
guess I just can’t even begin to figure out how I can really address You. For the past 22 years of my life, it's always been YOU. You, only You.
I want to thank You, first of all, for everything. I know,
it’s such a basic and generic line, but sometimes, those lines are the most
sincere. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve never let me down. You were
always listening to me and my problems, no matter how many times I would repeat
the story, the points, and the over thinking and analyzing of every little
detail. You’ve seen me at my worst and You still loved me. How do You do it?
You love me even when I don’t love myself. How can You be so consistent? It’s
sad, however, because I know these things. I know all of this. I know that You
never left. You never stopped loving me. And yet where was I when things were
okay? Where was I when things were great? I forgot about You. I left You. How
unfair is that?
Which brings me to my second point. I believe that the best
love letters speak about the truth. Not just about the flowery words and the
good times, but the admission of the faults and the proper apology. This letter
isn’t even a fraction of how much I should be apologizing. But hey, it’s a
start. With that being said, I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry for the times I doubted You. For the times I
cursed at You. Hated You. Blamed You. Lost faith in You. No one deserves that,
most especially You. You never did anything to deserve how badly I treated You.
In those hard times, sad to say, I just needed someone to blame. And because
You’re always there, it became You. Gosh, I’m so embarrassed. No, I’m ashamed.
It just goes to show how far of a journey I still have in becoming the best
possible version of myself. I don’t know why when the people I held so close to
my heart would hurt me, I would blame You instead. I would hate You and wish
they would love me again. I never wanted to take responsibility for my actions
and poor decisions that when it would come to bite me in the a$$, I would blame
You, and be nothing more than a victim to the unfair “karma.” Despite these
things, however, you continued to bless me and love me. You let GOOD people enter my life. You let them
love me, understand me and make me feel the love you have for me. I am the most
undeserving of any of these blessings and yet You still showered me with them.
Again, HOW DO YOU DO IT?
I’m trying to change. I know that You know that. You know
what’s in my heart. You always have. You know me more than I know myself. I
want to be better. I know I need to be better. But I have a long way to go.
It’ll be tough, with tons of challenges but I am not afraid. You taught me
that. Why should I be afraid when I have You in my life? I know that I will get
hurt, I know that I will get angry. I know that there will be times when I will
still curse at You, blame You, not trust You- I am already apologizing for
those times. I will become the person deserving of Your love.
So thank you, again, for loving me. Me, a flawed, impatient
and immature girl. If it wasn’t for Your love, I don’t know how far I would’ve
even gotten in life. This life. I love You, more than words can describe. I
love You- no reasons necessary. Thank You for always making me feel Your love.
Especially during the times I didn’t want it or deserve it. I can only try to
love the way You do. You are, after all, the love of my life.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
11 comments
I love your blogs so much! :> Sobrang meaningful at ang dami mo talagang matututunan. Complete package na! May Comedy, Kilig Moments, Drama. And this one? Hats off. You're not perfect but, no one is. Right? Oh, there is. HIM. :) More pleease! :*
ReplyDeleteWEEEE!!! Thank you sooo much! Yes, I'd like to think funny ako HAHAHA (ako na bawal kumontra!) Yes yes, I really wanted to make sure I wrote HIM a letter for Valentine's Day! :)
DeleteYou never fail to put a smile on my face and end my day right. I LOVED THIS. As much as I loved the first one about HIM too. :) Keep doing what you do best and continue helping people. :))
ReplyDeleteI'm always one of the first people to comment on your new entries, and strangely, kinikilig ako when you reply, HAHA. :D I've learned a lot from you, and reading your entries have been a part of my daily routine na. :)) MUCH LOVE! :*
-Yan,14 :))
Thank you! I'm so glad you keep coming back for more entries and our entertained/touched with them. It makes me feel good to know that in some ways, I am a part of your life (nakssss there's like that!) Haha :P
DeleteIt's like the "YOU" is God =))))
ReplyDeleteIt is! :)
DeleteHE is amazing!! :)
ReplyDeleteWhile reading this I felt sadness and at the same time a grateful heart.
Don't be sad! Be happy! For He is always with you! :)
DeleteThank you ate Karla! :)
DeleteNice one Karla para sa "Kanya" pala yan... Galing! clap clap clap!-rudeboy
ReplyDeleteHi Rudeboy! Yes it is for Him :) He deserves a love letter every single day!
DeleteThanks for reading my entry! I hope you enjoyed it. :)